Photography Portfolio - "It's a Trap!"

Let me say that this is my favorite picture of this collection, partly because of the composition of this photo, and partly because I can relate to this on the most. The chains yet again aren't real. He is just imagining these chains that are holding him back, but they aren't actually there.

If we are honest with ourselves, we all have our chains that don't actually exist, but we still feel trapped by them. For me, I struggle with comparing myself to other people. There was a guy in my film class this semester who has experience working with cameras and editing. I have little to no experience of working with video cameras or editing. So for majority of the semester, I told myself that by comparison, I will never be as good as him. I trapped myself in this cycle of believing that I would never be as good no matter what I did.

It got so bad at one point, I totally skipped on taping a scene we needed because I didn't think I was qualified. After that night, I knew something had to change. I wanted to stop fighting against these chains that I use to bind myself.

So afterwards, I rewatched the video of Mark Hall's testimony. Mark Hall is the lead singer of the band Casting Crowns. He talked about how he struggled with comparing himself to his peers in college, and at one point he wanted to drop out of college because he wasn't good enough. The thing that stuck out to me is when Mark was talking about how if God wanted someone else to be where you are than he would have chose someone else. But God wanted me there and he had a reason for why I am here, and I need to trust him. It is like what is said in Jeremiah 29:11 which says, "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." God has a plan and a reason why I am here, and I may not be the best of what I am doing now, but with time and work, that could all change and I can see what God has in store for me.

The cool thing about this is that we go through similar struggles, and when we listen to people's stories, we can find where we connect with people and learn from people who already have gone through that struggle. We can relate to other people's stories and together these chains that we use to bind ourselves began to break apart. With an understanding of who God is and his love for us, these chains fall off, we are able to walk free.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for your love, and your desire to break these chains that we use to hold ourselves back. I pray that  you place people in my life who can help me break these chains, and I pray that I can do the same for the people around me. Amen. 

Video for Mark Hall's Testimony
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab8flhvMh58

Photography Portfolio - "Help"

For my next photo and topic, I want to touch on the subject on having the desire to listen to other people's testimony, and story. If you are just listening to someone talk because you have to, they will have a different attitude as if you were actively listening.


God has given me a gift listening to other people. I noticed that I enjoyed listening to other people's story last summer working at the movie theater. In our down time there, people would just talk, and I found that I was often pulled aside so that they could talk about what ever was going on, I would listen and then we would go back to work. I hardly said anything, but you can tell that once they said what they wanted, they just felt much better.


I know that in American culture it has become cliché to talk about the walls that we build up around ourselves. I actually think that they are more like chain linked fences. You're still trapped, but sometimes you are waiting for someone to actually stand on the opposite side of the fence, and listen to them. They sometimes just need to know that someone is there. That is why I love this picture. The fence is yet again fake, for it was hand drawn on, yet it is creating this barrier between him and us on this side of the fence. So my question is that not knowing this guy at all, would you step up to the fence and listen to what he has to say, or would you walk on by, hoping someone else will stop.

Now, it is not always as easy as I may make it seem earlier. Sure there are people out there who if they feel like they can trust you, they can spill their whole life story. But most the time, you have to put effort in, to gain that trust and start the conversation. That is difficult. I know that I am petrified of staring conversations, but are you going to be able to get out of your comfort zone and start that conversation. If you see that someone you know fairly well have an off day, are you going to make sure they are okay, and wait for their response, or move on with your life. For some of us, we can start the conversation, but we lose interest fast. Some of use can listen to someone's story for hours but we can never start the conversation.


Think of the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan stepped out of his comfort zone to help this man on the street. He didn't care who he was, his ethnicity, nothing. He showed compassion on the man, and went out of his way to help him. Taking an example from the Samaritan, can we step out of our comfort zone, and meet people at their chain linked fences in their life, and truly listen to what they have to say. It shouldn't matter who they are, race, gender, age, for we are all God's children, and we all need someone to talk to.


Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for always being there to listen to me, through the good and the bad. Thank you for the people that you have placed in my life that are willing to listen to me. I pray that I can approach the fence in the lives of the people around me, and that I am willing to intently listen to them. Amen.

Photography Portfolio - "Don't Tempt Me"

So as the semester winds down, all my projects for photography are coming due. We have this big semester project that has to consist of multiple photographs with a common theme. My theme was vulnerability. As I took the photos and I started to edit them, I notice they had a dark over tone to it. If you know me personally, I am normally optimistic, but this project turned into a culmination of what went on in my head over the semester. Let me say this semester has kicked my butt. In this post, I am going to use the photos I used for my semester project and tie that into my past semester. The thing is that the big picture themes that I am touching on, I know that I am not the only one who struggles with these same issues.


The first photo that I am going to talk about is one that I labeled in my folder as "Don't Tempt Me." If I leave this photo up on my monitor and then leave, when I come back I have a mini panic attack when I see this photo. The gun is a photo of an actual gun, that I added a filter over. Then for this one photo, my model was looking right at the camera. All the other shots he never looked directly down the lens, but for this one he did. By breaking that fourth wall, it gives this sense, at least to me, that he is dead serious about pulling that trigger.

The thing is that when we shot this photo, there was no gun. We used a sheet of green cardboard, and I added the gun in later. The photo with the green screen looks a lot less threatening, because that green screen can literally be anything.

Now as I have been showing my friends and teachers this photo, they are wondering why I added the filter to the gun, for it makes it look fake. My theme that I was going for is vulnerability. Majority of people aren't going to openly display their vulnerability. Many people my be holding that green screen outwardly, as if hiding their true intentions. Yet in their head, the thing the general populace can't see, is what is truly going on.


One point I want to get across with this photo, is taking time to understand someone. I never once wanted to commit suicide this semester, but I know people who have thought about killing themselves. On the outside, they look fine, yet once I really knew them, I could see some of the signs. Like how with the green screen, you can see him holding it like he might be holding a gun. The thing is that you need to get to know that person.


They could even be looking straight at you, indirectly telling you that they need help, but if you don't take time to know people, you can just keep glancing on by. The second greatest commandment, is to love your neighbor as yourself. To truly love your neighbor, you need to get to know them more than just what is on the outside. Love is not a surface level emotion, but it is something that penetrates deep with in. You have to get to know the person to reach that deep.


So I know that this didn't really talk about my semester, like I said I would in this post. But I wanted to establish the foundation on actually wanting to understand where a person is coming from, because other wise you are just going to be reading words, that have no meaning. I am going to continue to post periodically throughout the weekend on the other pictures I am using, and I encourage you to come back, and read them, and hopefully learn what it means to love a person for more than what is on the outside.


Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for the photography assignment, and the idea that came only from you, and for my model who did a wonderful job. I pray that this weekend, you speak through me what it truly means to love and care for someone, not just like in a dating relationship, but in any relationship, friendship, family, sibling, ect. Thank you for the medium of photography, and the arts in general as a way to communicate ideas where words fail. Amen.

Football

So recently I became one of the football managers for Dordt's football team. If you would have told me this at the beginning of last year, I would have thought you were completely mad. But none the less, here I am. And I actually kinda enjoy it. Sure I know nothing about football, but watching practice, and watching these guys have a good time doing something they love is fun to watch. On top of that, I get recognized for all the work I do. At the same time, I also had the time to have some great conversations with my friends, while I wait between drills. It is so weird how God has instrumented my life up to this point. It's like it says in Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you.' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.'"
God has an awesome plan in store for you. I know that it may seem difficult to see the end goal, and at times you may doubt God, but he is working for the good for you. I am glad of this semester that just past, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me next.


Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the plan you have for my life. As I am standing on this mountain top, I want to thank you for all you have given me Lord. Thank you so much!

Difference In Cultures

So growing up, I lived in a suburb of Denver, Colorado. I was never what you would classify as a city girl for I love camping and hiking and being outdoors. But after my moved to Dordt, that view changed. Yesterday Dordt had what they called Ag Day. They brought in farm equipment and farm animals, and they invited the elementary schools from the area to come and learn about agriculture. Compared to the people I saw yesterday, I am totally a city girl, even though I am not considered that back home. My identity totally changed based on my location.
Which got me thinking about how important it is for us to find our identity in Christ. If our identity can change like the wind, it is very easy to lose who we are. We can't ever find stability in our identity when we rely on what the world has to say. That is why it is so important to find our identity in God. For one day you may not be a city girl and the next day, you may be totally a city girl.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for making me the way I am. Help me to find my identity and worth in you, and not of the things of this world. Amen.

Christ Freedom

So as I was doing my homework for my Biblical Foundations class, I found a couple readings interesting. Reading Romans 14, the first thing I notice is that each person has their own faith. No two faiths are alike, and as we interact with other people, we need to be aware of their faith. Not everyone believes that exact same thing as I would, but that doesn’t mean one faith is better than another. One thing about Christ’s freedom is that we are free from the judgment of others. For Romans 14 was talking about each one of us will answer to God for our faith, and how we don’t need to answer to other people. But we do have to be careful not to weaken someone else’s faith with our own. 

Paul talks about, in 1 Corinthians 9, how he may be free, but he is willing making himself a slave to everyone. Paul sets an example of how we are to use our freedom. We volunteer our freedom to serve God and to serve people. God isn’t asking this of us, but because he freed us we show our gratitude by serving him and his will. This way we won’t cause other people or the gospel to stumble. This is how we are to use our freedom in Christ. 

Both these passages talk about the freedom we find in Christ, and how we are to live out this freedom. These passages just stuck out to me, and I hope you can take something from this and apply it to your life. 

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the freedom I have in Christ. Help me to use this freedom wisely and to bring glory to you. Amen.

I Feel So Small

I find it funny how small that we often make ourselves out to be. We over and over again feel tiny, worthless, insignificant. I know that I am not the only one who struggles with this. We buy into these lies that make us feel like we are nothing. It is honestly a lifelong struggle.


It was just last week where I backed out of filming a shot for a school project because I didn't feel qualified. The thing is that after Wednesday, I felt so down and so small. I felt worthless, and it chewed me up on the inside. Then Saturday, I learn a whole new editing program in which I created a light saber that looks legit. My teacher was even impressed, and yet I still struggle with believing that I did that because I still feel so tiny and insignificant.


We all struggle with times where we feel like we are not good enough. We don't measure up to what ever standards that are placed on us. It could be parent standards, society standards, or even standards you put on yourself.

The thing is that God doesn't see you that way. He created you. I don't know if you have ever created something, but you think that it is the best thing in the world. I have paintings and photos that I make and I love them so much, that I can't stand anyone talking badly about them. I am only a human. Think about how much more valuable you are to God. He made you in your mother's womb, with a specific plan and purpose in mind. (Psalms 139:13) He loves you and he is upset when you don't see the same potential that he sees.

Just think for a minute. Think of a time where you were faced with something that seemed impossible, and you didn't think for a second that it could be done, and you felt like you weren't good enough. How would your attitude change if you thought of Philippians 4:13 - I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me. You might change the way you look at the situation. You might approach it with confidence, and not fear. And that is just verse in a whole book that God gave you to learn about him, and to learn about your own identity.

Now I don't have any magical answers on how to over come it. Trust me if I knew a way my life will look so different. One thing I can say is that it takes trusting God in all aspects in your life. In my Biblical Foundations class, we have been talking about people who had no reason to trust God, like Abraham, but they believed and God rewarded them. We can trust God, for he only has our best interest at heart.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for loving me, even when I find it hard to love myself. Help me to trust in you and in who you made me to be. You have such a great plan in mind for me, and even though I can't see it now, I trust you. Amen. 

God's Beauty

One of my favorite things about Colorado was the sunset over the mountains. They were always so beautiful, and when I would drive home from work at sunset, it was cool to watch the clouds and the light fade into the darkness. I recently discovered that even though Northwest Iowa doesn't have the mountains, they still have beautiful sunsets. These photos I told on Wednesday, and I think they came out really good. I love how you can see the sun set over time, and you can watch the clouds move. This is just a great reminder that no matter where you are, God's beauty and grace are there with you.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your beauty and grace that is found no matter where I go. Thank you for the constant reminders of how great you are. Amen.

Finding Beuaty in the Forgotten

For my film class, our semester project is for our group to create a five to eight minute video. We had to come up with the script, film it, and edit it to make a video. We did a post-apocalyptic, and our setting took place in this abandon house. I just found how this house, which looks like it could fall over at any minute, and with holes in the floor and walls. Most people would love to see this place destroyed. Yet it was the perfect setting for our movie we were shooting.  I feel like the same goes with people. There are some people in our lives that we ignore or try to avoid. The thing is that each person was made unique by God. We just have to get to know them, to see what makes them special. So think about that when you are dealing with someone you would rather not be dealing with. 

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for making each one of us an individual. I pray that I will take the time to get to know the people around me, to see what makes them special. Amen.