Photography Portfolio - "Words to Speak"

For my last post, I want to talk about being vulnerable, and letting people in. A couple of weeks ago I gave a presentation summarizing what God has done in my life this semester. After the presentation, one of my friends asked if I was scared to present that because it showed my vulnerability. That caught me for a second, but in a society where you have to be perfect on the outside, someone showing their vulnerability is uncommon.

That is why I love this photo. Half the time, we want to say something, but we can't because society has raised us as to keep that locked inside. I want to say that unlike what society has told us, it is okay to be vulnerable. The only way we can get help is if we show that we are vulnerable.

That is why I am not ashamed to say that I struggled freshman year of college, Not with school work necessarily, but with relationships, and confidence. I have often worried about what my new friends would think of me, and how I should act around them. I work hard to prove that I am choosing the correct major and that I deserve to be here. I know that I am not the only one who has gone through something like this, and I want you to know that you are not alone. It is okay to be vulnerable, because God has placed people in your life who can help you, and God is always there for you.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for your love that is constant no matter how much I am hurting inside. Help me to break this barrier that surrounds me where I can show where I am weak. Thank you for the people you have put in my life to help me through my struggles, and I pray that I can be a light for the people around me. Amen.

Photography Portfolio - "The Weight"

We all have those moments in life, where we feel like the weight of the world is crushing you. You have one thing after another that you have to do, along with an image that you have to uphold on the outside like everything is fine. Those are the day, where at the end you break down crying because you can't take the stress anymore. I have had many of those days this semester.

When we have those moments in life where the burden is too much to bear, there are two things to remember. The first is that God is there to lighten the load. Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." God wants you to take all that you carry on your shoulders, and lay it down at the cross. All the work you have to do, all the people you have to please, all the worries that keep you up at night. God wants to take that from you and make your burden light.

One thing that I also noticed is that God place people in our lives to help with the burden we carry. Galatians 6:2 says, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." We are to help other people carry their burdens. That means listening to their story, their struggles so you can help them carry their burdens and not become an obstacle for them. There are also people out there to help you carry your burden, but that requires you to show some of your vulnerability and let people know you are hurting. Sometimes that is rather a hard thing to do, but in the end, it is all worth it. 

Dear Heavenly Father, 
Thank you for taking our burdens, as well as putting people in our life to help us with our burden. Lord, I lay my burden down at your feet, for you are much stronger than I can ever be. Amen. 

Photography Portfolio - "It's a Trap!"

Let me say that this is my favorite picture of this collection, partly because of the composition of this photo, and partly because I can relate to this on the most. The chains yet again aren't real. He is just imagining these chains that are holding him back, but they aren't actually there.

If we are honest with ourselves, we all have our chains that don't actually exist, but we still feel trapped by them. For me, I struggle with comparing myself to other people. There was a guy in my film class this semester who has experience working with cameras and editing. I have little to no experience of working with video cameras or editing. So for majority of the semester, I told myself that by comparison, I will never be as good as him. I trapped myself in this cycle of believing that I would never be as good no matter what I did.

It got so bad at one point, I totally skipped on taping a scene we needed because I didn't think I was qualified. After that night, I knew something had to change. I wanted to stop fighting against these chains that I use to bind myself.

So afterwards, I rewatched the video of Mark Hall's testimony. Mark Hall is the lead singer of the band Casting Crowns. He talked about how he struggled with comparing himself to his peers in college, and at one point he wanted to drop out of college because he wasn't good enough. The thing that stuck out to me is when Mark was talking about how if God wanted someone else to be where you are than he would have chose someone else. But God wanted me there and he had a reason for why I am here, and I need to trust him. It is like what is said in Jeremiah 29:11 which says, "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." God has a plan and a reason why I am here, and I may not be the best of what I am doing now, but with time and work, that could all change and I can see what God has in store for me.

The cool thing about this is that we go through similar struggles, and when we listen to people's stories, we can find where we connect with people and learn from people who already have gone through that struggle. We can relate to other people's stories and together these chains that we use to bind ourselves began to break apart. With an understanding of who God is and his love for us, these chains fall off, we are able to walk free.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for your love, and your desire to break these chains that we use to hold ourselves back. I pray that  you place people in my life who can help me break these chains, and I pray that I can do the same for the people around me. Amen. 

Video for Mark Hall's Testimony
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab8flhvMh58

Photography Portfolio - "Help"

For my next photo and topic, I want to touch on the subject on having the desire to listen to other people's testimony, and story. If you are just listening to someone talk because you have to, they will have a different attitude as if you were actively listening.


God has given me a gift listening to other people. I noticed that I enjoyed listening to other people's story last summer working at the movie theater. In our down time there, people would just talk, and I found that I was often pulled aside so that they could talk about what ever was going on, I would listen and then we would go back to work. I hardly said anything, but you can tell that once they said what they wanted, they just felt much better.


I know that in American culture it has become cliché to talk about the walls that we build up around ourselves. I actually think that they are more like chain linked fences. You're still trapped, but sometimes you are waiting for someone to actually stand on the opposite side of the fence, and listen to them. They sometimes just need to know that someone is there. That is why I love this picture. The fence is yet again fake, for it was hand drawn on, yet it is creating this barrier between him and us on this side of the fence. So my question is that not knowing this guy at all, would you step up to the fence and listen to what he has to say, or would you walk on by, hoping someone else will stop.

Now, it is not always as easy as I may make it seem earlier. Sure there are people out there who if they feel like they can trust you, they can spill their whole life story. But most the time, you have to put effort in, to gain that trust and start the conversation. That is difficult. I know that I am petrified of staring conversations, but are you going to be able to get out of your comfort zone and start that conversation. If you see that someone you know fairly well have an off day, are you going to make sure they are okay, and wait for their response, or move on with your life. For some of us, we can start the conversation, but we lose interest fast. Some of use can listen to someone's story for hours but we can never start the conversation.


Think of the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan stepped out of his comfort zone to help this man on the street. He didn't care who he was, his ethnicity, nothing. He showed compassion on the man, and went out of his way to help him. Taking an example from the Samaritan, can we step out of our comfort zone, and meet people at their chain linked fences in their life, and truly listen to what they have to say. It shouldn't matter who they are, race, gender, age, for we are all God's children, and we all need someone to talk to.


Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for always being there to listen to me, through the good and the bad. Thank you for the people that you have placed in my life that are willing to listen to me. I pray that I can approach the fence in the lives of the people around me, and that I am willing to intently listen to them. Amen.

Photography Portfolio - "Don't Tempt Me"

So as the semester winds down, all my projects for photography are coming due. We have this big semester project that has to consist of multiple photographs with a common theme. My theme was vulnerability. As I took the photos and I started to edit them, I notice they had a dark over tone to it. If you know me personally, I am normally optimistic, but this project turned into a culmination of what went on in my head over the semester. Let me say this semester has kicked my butt. In this post, I am going to use the photos I used for my semester project and tie that into my past semester. The thing is that the big picture themes that I am touching on, I know that I am not the only one who struggles with these same issues.


The first photo that I am going to talk about is one that I labeled in my folder as "Don't Tempt Me." If I leave this photo up on my monitor and then leave, when I come back I have a mini panic attack when I see this photo. The gun is a photo of an actual gun, that I added a filter over. Then for this one photo, my model was looking right at the camera. All the other shots he never looked directly down the lens, but for this one he did. By breaking that fourth wall, it gives this sense, at least to me, that he is dead serious about pulling that trigger.

The thing is that when we shot this photo, there was no gun. We used a sheet of green cardboard, and I added the gun in later. The photo with the green screen looks a lot less threatening, because that green screen can literally be anything.

Now as I have been showing my friends and teachers this photo, they are wondering why I added the filter to the gun, for it makes it look fake. My theme that I was going for is vulnerability. Majority of people aren't going to openly display their vulnerability. Many people my be holding that green screen outwardly, as if hiding their true intentions. Yet in their head, the thing the general populace can't see, is what is truly going on.


One point I want to get across with this photo, is taking time to understand someone. I never once wanted to commit suicide this semester, but I know people who have thought about killing themselves. On the outside, they look fine, yet once I really knew them, I could see some of the signs. Like how with the green screen, you can see him holding it like he might be holding a gun. The thing is that you need to get to know that person.


They could even be looking straight at you, indirectly telling you that they need help, but if you don't take time to know people, you can just keep glancing on by. The second greatest commandment, is to love your neighbor as yourself. To truly love your neighbor, you need to get to know them more than just what is on the outside. Love is not a surface level emotion, but it is something that penetrates deep with in. You have to get to know the person to reach that deep.


So I know that this didn't really talk about my semester, like I said I would in this post. But I wanted to establish the foundation on actually wanting to understand where a person is coming from, because other wise you are just going to be reading words, that have no meaning. I am going to continue to post periodically throughout the weekend on the other pictures I am using, and I encourage you to come back, and read them, and hopefully learn what it means to love a person for more than what is on the outside.


Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for the photography assignment, and the idea that came only from you, and for my model who did a wonderful job. I pray that this weekend, you speak through me what it truly means to love and care for someone, not just like in a dating relationship, but in any relationship, friendship, family, sibling, ect. Thank you for the medium of photography, and the arts in general as a way to communicate ideas where words fail. Amen.